So so so so pensiveee...
Today I did something I think I really shouldn't be doing...
dispensing advice on relationships....
A friend that I really not that close to asked if she should take this guy as her boyfriend. And please, I'm not using a made up imaginary situation as a metaphor for myself and a girl I'm interested in or anything. Anyway there's this guy who's interested in her and has already asked her to be his steady.
She says they have a lot in common, (in my opinion her judgement may be suspect..) they can have fun together and they're both fond of cracking jokes. She says again that he treats her very well and that she's really happy around him. But she thinks she still young, 21, and soo afraid of getting hurt.
My take on relationships is that it is INEVITABLE that u will get hurt, merely for the simple fact that you'll break up. Even if u do marry the dude, he'll still do stuff that will be hurtful and vice-versa. I didn't know how to explain that to her, got a feeling she's lookin for a "hurt-free" relationship, which doesn't exists. She says she's very happy when she's around him but yet she still feels unsure. That tells me that she still suspects he isn't all just ha ha howdy doo.
So then I tells her to go out a couple more times over a few weeks and see how it goes. Then I told her to be around him when he ain't all rainbows and sunshine. Cos I thinks it's truly u when u's a badass. It's so easy to fake happiness and niceness and courtesy and concern... especially when you's after a piece of ass. But when ur bad.. then ur bad. A little harder to fake being an asshole... More of your true nature, hence "self" comes out when your sad, angry or depressed. Don't u think so? U think I gave her at least, sound.. advice?
Anyway, I think I will stop dispensing advice of anykind for a while... or indefinately. To change the pensive atmosphere... as requested, by Ms. Bandaids, here are some fun facts... on farts:
Where does fart gas come from?
The gas in our intestines come from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced from chemical reactions from our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our gut.
What makes farts stink?
The odour comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. The more sulphur rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly smelly farts.
Why do farts make a noise?
Sounds come from the vibrations of the anal opening, depening on the velocity of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles. Contrary to the the popular misconception, the sound is not produced by the flapping of the butt cheeks.
Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than stinky farts?
Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a by-product as well a pungent gases. The resulting bubbles tned to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products, these emerge as a SBD (Silent but Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.
How long does it take for a fart to travel to someone's nose?
Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions, humidity, temperature, wind speed etc.. and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Generally if a fart is not detected in a few seconds, it's too dilute for perception and is lost in the atmosphere forever. Exceptional conditions like when a fart is released in an enclosed space, e.g. car, small room, elevator.. may limit the amount of dilution of the fart and may remain in smellable concentration for a long time.
Do men fart more than women?
No, fart just as much as men. It's just that men take more pride in it than most women.
At what time of the day is a gentleman most likely to fart?
A gentleman is most likely to fart in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder" and if the gentleman gets a good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.
Is it really possible to ignite farts?
Yes! Tho it is dangerous and one quarter of people trying to light their farts have gotten slightly burnt. Farts burn because they contain methane and sometimes hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. Farts burn with a yellow or blue flame, blue flame is an indication of methane. Since methane "producers" are an elite group (only 1/3 of the population) an exclusive club called the Royal Order of the Blue Flame has been established and open only to them.
Is it true that cow farts contribute to global warming?
Research shows that methane produced by cows and sheep emerges from the mouth rather than the anus. So one could more accurately say that cow and sheep belches contribute to global warming. New Zealand researchers are investgating methods of breeding methane-free sheep.
Is it possible to get stoned after inhaling 2 or 3 farts in a row?
There are no intoxicating agent in flatus, however farts contain very little oxygen and you may experience dizziness inhaling over concentrated fart essence.
Is it possible to capture a fart in a jar and save it for later use?
It is theoretically possible to do this tho it does present a lot of logistical problems. A better way would be to capture it while bathing in a bathtub. Fill the jar with water then hold it in the bathtub with the open end downward. Lean back in the bathtub so your fart bubbles will emerge in front rather than behind where u can see them. Catch the bubbles in the jar and put the lid on while it's still underwater. This way u capture fairly pure fart uncontaminated by atmospheric air.
Sources:
http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
posted by Andrew @ 3:47 AM
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