Oh what the hell...

Oh what the hell... since ALL of cyberspace is... technically our/my audience, let's pretend that we (actually just me) lead exciting gile babi punya lives and make up a story to feed our (my) egos and make us (me) look cool and down... like a clown, charlie brown..

Huaah... I tell u ah... today ah... I stopped a bank robbery ah!! This afternoon ah... I went to do some terlansaksyen at the bank la. Just bank in some money la... a little bit only... like $50,000 dorrer small profit that my small business made in one day la.. My business small-small one only... we just dig some holes in the sea... here and there and export something call oil la... nobody buy one, just some gahmen of some countries like Singlapoh, Merlaysial, even some place call United Sedates. Then sometimes I play this not famous share market like dat call Forex... no big deal one.

Anyway hor, then ah huah... this 5 or 6 beeg peepur with beeg guns ah come and kau peh dunno wat and then everyone panic. Then I reealize that the bank was being robbed man! Wahh... I think... Kaninau bu.. bloody pai kia want to steal peepur hard earn $5/hr pay? Peepur work soo hard then give u steal? No way man! I decided to "hoot" them.

First I analyse... got 6 peepur... all big-big... got gun some more... One point gun at cashier, 2 become "crowd control", 2 collect money, then one jaga pintu. I decided to utilize my black belt 3rd dan in Karate on the "crowd control" pai kias.. I fly and double kick both... immediate lights out... then I aim the one point gun at cashier. Using my capoeira that I learn when I spent 3 yrs in Brazil while training with their soccer team, I twist, shake, roll and show my pattern on the fella. Coma 6 mths!

The next immediate threat was the jaga pintu one... but he too far away. Then I remember my moves when choreographing martial arts for matrix, that it is actually possible to move like lighting and that time is just a frame of mind... so using the moves I taught Keanu, i took out the jaga pintu. All this took 2 seconds... by that time the 2 collecting money one became awares that they were being "hoot"ed and saw I far too skill for them. So one of them grab this si beh chio bu, that look like a replica of Carmen Elektra and the other one start shooting at me.

HUUAHH... using a chio bu as protection??!! Really no gentleman this peepur... I steam kao kao liao. The guy use his si beh big machine gun and try to aim me... but I run along and ON the wall and bicycle kick his face. Seeing that he was alone, the last pai kia grab the chio bu even harder and had his arm across her boobies! and then start shooting also... I wanted to save the chio bu but I saw one bullet heading straight for Lee Hsien Loong man! Who happen to be doing his daily banking that day.

Then I think... of my Ah Pa who was Secret Service Agent and fail to protect JFK... we have him to thank for 5 day week ah!! Cannot let him die! So I jump... everything slow mo now... it's too late to flick the bullet away... so I do my "Magnum" face and "Blue Steel" the bullet... which stopped and dropped right there... Then the last pai kia stunn orready. I walk slow slow toward him... like Keanu Leef with a trench coat, flick my hair back and say..., "Do u feel rucky... punk?"

Before he can do anything... I take him out like OJ took out his wife and grab the chio bu before she fall down, and into my strong arms... Then hor... everyone, like just finish watch the best drama of their life... stand up and applaud me. Then the chio bu, who turn out to be really Carmen Elektra, grab me and Flench Kiss me like no tomorrow. She even put my hand on her booty. Then Lee Hsien Loong got up, thank me and give me 50 dorrer. I say no need la, just doing my job... and told him to do a good just of running the country also. He wanted to make today public holiday but I told him no need. Your gratitude is enuff hor?

Then Carmen Elektra have to rush for shooting and told me to go find her later in Paris where she will negotiate "repayment" hur hur... I say ok since I have to go to Paris later for business... Seeing that I was so skilled in martial arts and so chamming.. she ask me to play the lead with her in her next movie called, "I fell in love with an Asian spy". I told her...

"I have to think about it la..."